Happy Wednesday!!! Today I thought I would jump in to today's link-up about working on our marriages. What a fun topic and one that Pierce and I are far from experts on, but I thought I would just share a few of our favorite little things from the past six and a half years!! On our anniversary last year, I wrote a little about all that these six years have held which you can read here, but here are just a few things that come to mind when people ask about marriage...
1. Being in the Word and Praying Together.
Well, I couldn't think of anywhere else to start in a post about marriage than this foundation right here. It is been a cornerstone for us since we got married, and I couldn't imagine our days or marriage without it.
Whether we are reading or studying the same thing or different things, deepening our walk with the Lord is always the foundation and has been the key for us in so many of our different seasons...
It's looked different throughout the years as our mornings, days, and routines have changed, but it's stayed a deep part of our life, and I'm so grateful for that.
Someone challenged us before we got married to pray together every night, no matter what the day has held or how the day might be ending, and I think that is been a sweet part of our days as well. I gifted this Psalms book to Pierce right before we got married, and we started reading one together before we went to bed, and it sort of became a "tradition" or "routine" of sorts. We started writing a few memories from the day on the top of the Psalm that we were reading, and although now it looks a little different (as we have started using the ESV app and writing a little "note" on the first verse of each Psalm), it is incredibly sweet to look back on where the Lord has taken us on so many of those days over the past six years. (We added a little Proverbs book similar to this one, and we make it through the Psalms and Proverbs twice with just a few extra days at the end before we start again on our anniversary.) It's a favorite little gift for us for newlyweds for sure, and has been such a blessing for us!
2. Having fun // Dates // Laughing.
This one is the next one that came to mind... No matter what comes, we try not to take things too seriously, and I think that fun and laughing also keeps us going...
Take me back to the summer engagement fun - it was a sweet summer filled with lots of fun, and I think it taught us to always keep pursuing that fun and date nights.
And sometimes that fun looks like snowmobiling...
Sailing...
Jetskiing...
Or riding a "dingy" out in the middle of nowhere on our honeymoon...
Sometimes it's a simple dinner out...
Or seeing something special and fun... (Oh, how Jane would have loved this date night circa 2020!)
And sometimes, most times, these days they're simple nights at home with a little treat and a game. But we love them so much still!!!
3. "In an effort to bring up the little things..."
This one is slightly more practical, but it was some of the best advice we got before we were married. Someone told us one time that when there's something little or a little situation that has been "gnawing" at them for a while and they feel it might be worth bringing up to their spouse, they'll always start the conversation out with "In an effort to bring up the little things....." It could be something tiny, but they said instead of letting it "grow" and become a big thing years later, they'll just go ahead and tell them when it's a small thing and work together to find a solution, almost always involving compromise. We found, especially in those early years of marriage, that this little piece of advice was invaluable. I'm forever thankful for that sweet dinner date and that tiny little conversation starter that helped so much.
4. Conflict Resolution.
Which leads me to conflict resolution...it's a huge piece of getting back on the same page... From "drive-through talking" ("What I'm hearing you say is.... Is that what you're saying?") to assuming the best about the other person and seeking to understand... We try to always end with a little takeaway and a prayer, but seeking to always "resolve" has been a huge win for us throughout these six years...
5. Marriage Packet // Books and Resources
Pierce and I are both readers and learners and love when we find amazing resources - from books, to podcasts, to authors and speakers we know, respect and love. One of the best resources we love to go back to and point others to is a packet we did during encouragement written by Tim Keller. You can find it online here, and it is truly such a gem. It walks through different parts of marriage, tied in with Scripture and questions at the end of each section to walk through together. And although it's labeled, "Premarital," we love any chance to go back through those little chapters, whether it's taking it on anniversary trips or walking through it again with younger couples too. It's a favorite of ours. We've also read some great books on marriage and always love hearing others' favorites and recommendations too!!!
6. And last, but not least, it wouldn't be a post around here without mentioning the little things.
Whether it's a little index card or post-it in the morning or a card picked up from the grocery store...sometimes these are the things that mean the most. We used to try to do something small every 27th, and now it's just on "ordinary" days as well usually, when it's been a long week or a long day or an early morning... I have a collection of these from throughout the years, and as a words of affirmation girl, they always mean so much. Sometimes the little things just mean the most!!
And really, those are just the top few things that come to mind. I wish every day could be filled with all the fun and trips and big things, but we know we'll look back on all the "normal" days with the sweetest of memories too, especially in these full days with littles in our home. I can't wait to hear any and all of everyone's favorite ways to work on their marriage too! Thanks Shay and Erika for the fun blog link-up, and I'll plan to see you back here tomorrow!!
Sending lots of love!
XO
Tab
Sending lots of love!
XO
Tab
❤️❤️❤️
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