Keeping a Home...When it Feels Out of Order

Well, this is a post I've been thinking about for a while and with Pierce being so sick last week, right after a work trip, Jane's fever, and a back injury for me, our house felt disastrously "out of order," and I thought now would be the perfect time mainly for myself to have a little reminder next time we find ourselves here...

We have been here many times before, and in each season, I'm reminded once again that it's a season. Whether a few days, a few weeks, or a few months (hello, newborn in the house haha), it does always seem to sort itself out. 

The thing is, I love "home." I've always loved being home, but throughout college and beyond, I started realizing that I just love home. I love making a place a home, I love creating a space, I love making something feel welcoming, inviting, special. I love design and learning, I like transforming and bringing back to life. From painting a bathroom, creating a room, interning for a home staging company, or simply helping a friend put together a new space, I have learned that it just brings me life. 

And when these littles came, I started to learn even more that I found a lot of joy in the blessing of "keeping our home." The little things, the big things, the rhythms, routines, the seasons, the fun, the good and the hard. And I've learned a lot too. Especially in those moments and seasons that things just seem to start feeling a little "out of order." I've learned that A, it's ok. We have kids, we are living our days to the fullest, it's a home and things get messy, out of place, chaotic, and it's ok. It's not the most important thing by far. And B, things don't "have" to be in their place for days, weeks, seasons to still be FUN, peaceful, and settled.... That being said....

I think Pierce would tell you that if he had a dollar for every time I said, "I think I'm learning that I just function better when things are put away," or "I think I'm just starting to learn that I really feel more settled when our house is clean and everything is put away," he would have a very full bank account hahaha Every time I say said thing, I really mean it because I'm reminded once again that I operate better that way, but apparently, I have already come to said realization many other times in our marriage hahaha 

But, I'm always thinking and loving home, and when things are a bit disheveled, here are just a few random things I've learned when trying to get us back on our feet... 

Number one. Start small. 

This isn't really my favorite... but it's something I've come to find really important in my mindset. If I go into a day or a night thinking that that will be the day, moment, hour that everything finally gets put away and settled, it rarely happens... And I just continually think that the next day, moment, or hour will be the one. It's a loop, and it isn't very helpful honestly haha But, if I think that a small step I do right now will help get us to an end goal, it's much more satisfying and fulfilling, and honestly, with littles running around, much more helpful and realistic haha 

Number two. Find one little area and try to make sure it's clean every night. 

For me, and for some reason I'm not sure of, this usually seems to be the nursery dresser/changer. It's an easy place for clothes/things to pile up, but it's an easy place for everything to find a home as well. And it's a quick win for making the whole room feel more put together. So, when things feel overwhelming and out of sorts, each night, I just try to make sure that little dresser is put away. And I just keep doing that each night until I feel like I might have margin or capacity to do something else or add on with those few minutes I have. (Sometimes, that's the next night, or a few nights later, or a week or two, depending on the season or what is going on.) 

And number three. Move onto another area and add that to your "clean place" every night. 

It seems very obvious, but it's always a good reminder that when I have more capacity/margin, I add on. I usually move on to the hallway outside of their rooms. It usually holds clean laundry that I brought upstairs after they were sleeping, or toys/books/misc things that need to go into their rooms. So, at bedtime one night, I will try to put everything away (or even better, have them put what they can away) and all of the sudden, there's a little more breathing room when I walk out of their rooms. (If there's too much or not enough time, I will work on that hallway for a night or two.) And once the hallway is cleared, it's a whole lot easier to put one or two little items away each night. 

So, we have the dresser, then the hallway. After that, I keep just finding little places... Usually, it's our bathroom counter (that's another easy-win and just makes me take a deep breath and night and in the morning.) The stairs, the dining room table, and the biggest win for us is a specific kitchen counter that becomes a "collection spot" for most things. When that is clean, for some reason, the house just feels a whole lot simpler.

And I find that once what felt like "everything being insane" now was way more manageable for a little clean sweep each night. I think it's just how I'm wired, but I can sleep a little deeper and take a bit of a deeper breath when everything feels a bit more settled. 

Now, if I have a "section" of time, like Pierce takes the kids to the grocery store or something and our house just feels in disarray, I will do a "visual clean," and by that I mean, I sing to myself a little jingle, "If I see it, I put it away." Hahhaa so, basically, it's very inefficient, but it works because once I pick something up, I put it back where it belongs. And usually, as I'm walking to that place, I see something else, and after a bit of time, there are just less and less things to put away. And I'm always amazed at how quickly my brain starts to feel better because I don't see clutter every where my eyes land haha 

A few other random tidbits...

1. The kids help. A lot. Especially in these magnified seasons where it feels a bit overwhelming. We found this pick-up song somehow (and although Jane still mentions that they don't use "please" in the middle), it works every time. At this point, if I turn it on, they almost immediately start putting things away simply by muscle memory hahaha 

2. I just happened to put Jane's clothes' baskets lower in her closet when we were redoing her room/closet, and it has been the best thing I ever accidentally did haha her putting away her own clothes is a game changer. 

3. If I have a ton of clean laundry more than our normal small load, I have found that bedtime is an ideal time to put it away quickly. I will quickly sort into Jane and Andy, bring Jane's into her room for her to put away/us to help, and we take Andy's pile to his room and he loves to try to help put away what he can as well. For some reason, that bedtime just works well with all four of us up there putting away quickly. 

4. I usually delay "actually" cleaning until things are a bit more tidy. I have found that if I get out the vacuum when things are still in disarray, it just stays out and adds to the clutter because I rarely have enough time to get "everything put away" (See number one above haha) and vacuum as well. So, I try to wait till things are relatively all back in their places and then that is my next "small step." Even though it feels a lot bigger 😉 

5. Sometimes, in overwhelming seasons like this, it's helpful for "everything" to go back to its home and then I get back out what I like/what we need/use/are decorating with for that season. For example, we might have a million Valentine's Day crafts/hearts/paper out and although we've loved them and they've blessed our February, it's a nice mental break to put them away for a minute, and then if it's still that season, add a few back in or save them for the year and bring out the next seasons' things. Just a little thing I've learned that has helped me/our home. 

6. My very first episode I ever listened to of "The Lazy Genius Podcast" was Episode 17, "The Lazy Genius Cleans the House." I can't remember how I found it, but she talks about "keeping a home" and filling your home with "good things" for your family. And I just loved it. I loved the simplicity, I loved the reminder of the blessing it is that we get to steward our home and make it a place that our people love to be. I've gone back periodically and listened to that sweet old episode, simply because I love to find a lot of joy in keeping our home as well. Her book, "The Lazy Genius Way" also was such a fun read in regards to really everything, but so many principles applied to keeping a home. 

7. Myquillyn Smith is just such a great "home" person. She has a few books as well, but her "Cozy Minimalist Home" is a favorite with such a great perspective on creating rooms and spaces that work and function for your home and family. 

8. Another great read was "Decluttering at the Speed of Life" by Dana K. White. Just great principles for stewarding a home and going through things and clutter. 

9.  And lastly, I think I always tried to remember that wherever "home" was, it could be a space that is cozy, peaceful, welcoming, and a joy to be. I remember my very first apartment in Plano, TX and some of the sweetest memories come from making that place a home. It's really where I first got to try my hand at a few "home projects" and definitely where that love was kindled. It's still a sweet place dear to my heart when talking about keeping a home. ❤️

Well, and there you have it... Is this a comprehensive list? Not at all, but for us, it's just a few seemingly very obvious things that help and that I have to remind myself of specifically when it feels like things, clutter, toys, books, crafts, clothes, laundry, packages, dishes, dust etc has taken over our home in what can even seem like a relatively short time span haha 

My very favorite thing is to wake up in the morning with things pretty much put away, and I can take a deep breath, read my Bible, drink some tea and prepare for the day ahead. Now, does this always happen that way? Of course not. Especially in seasons and weeks that have a lot in them. Sometimes, I am reading my Bible with crumbs and toys and actual dust strewn about around me, but this is something I know I love and it seems to help make everything else a little better, so it's a fun goal to work toward.

And it's just a good reminder for me not to get overwhelmed when those seasons come... Our home is our home and we live in it in the best seasons and the hardest, the ones with overwhelming life events and the ones when life is filled with all the best things. I want our kids to play and create and make messes, play outside and enjoy their childhood, and if I can create that space in our home, while also filling it with "good" things that make it feel clean and peaceful, that is where I want to try to live. 

And that is a just a few little thoughts today on keeping a home, especially when it feels a little out of sorts... As always, I just love gleaning any thoughts and wisdom from others too if you have any share. Thanks for following along and here's to enjoying the little things, celebrating the big things, and soaking in all the moments in-between, even and especially when it comes to home!

Sending lots of love!
XO
Tab